(From “Questions Answered,” Lipscomb & Sewell, Kurfees, pg. 260)

QUESTION: If a brother in the church offends us, is it right for us to forgive him whether he comes and ask us to or not, or must we hold it against him until he comes and asks our pardon?  Would it not be more Christlike to forgive him and try to love him as much as lieth in us, whether he comes and ask us to or not?

ANSWER:  Christ never forgave anyone his sins until he repented of them, nor do we see how anyone can. Christ loved them while yet sinners, was anxious for them to repent, suffered and died to bring them to repentance. We should be like him; should love men, be willing to suffer that they may be brought to repentance, and be kind, gentle, longsuffering to help them to turn; but there is and can be no forgiveness with God or man without repentance; and when a man sincerely repents, he will confess and ask forgiveness of whomsoever he has offended.

QUESTION:  Brother Sewell: Does not the Bible teach us to forgive our enemies whether they repent and ask forgiveness or not? I heard a preacher of the gospel say there are no passages in the Bible where anyone ever forgave another unless he repented. I say the Bible teaches us that we must forgive whether they repent and ask our forgiveness or not.

ANSWER: Here is a passage that settles this question: “Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him. And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him” (Luke 17:3-4). There are two sides to this question. If one does us wrong, it is our duty to tell him of this wrong, and thus rebuke him for his wrong. Then, if he repents, we must forgive him; but if he will not repent, he is not worthy of forgiveness. But we have no right to hold malice against him, nor in any way take vengeance upon him. But we can follow the rule given in another passage, which is to take one or two with us; and if he refuses to hear the church, then let him be as a heathen or a publican—that is, let the church withdraw from him and leave him with other sinners. That may cause him to repent. If not, the Lord will attend to his case in due time (See Matthew 18:15-17). But no Christian has the right to punish, hold malice against or abuse another. It is a fact that God himself does not forgive sinners that will not repent.  All such will be lost at last. Let a Christian in such cases do right in all things, no matter what the backslider or rebellious member may do. But if the wrongdoer will not repent, he will be sure of his deserts at last.

(From “Question and Answers, Volume II,” Guy N. Woods, Freed-Hardeman, pg. 41)

QUESTION: "Should I forgive a man even though he does not repent?"

ANSWER: Our Lord said, “If thy brother sin, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him” (Luke 17:3). Jesus forgives only those who repent (Acts 2:38), and He expects no more of us. It is, indeed, impossible to forgive one who does not repent since forgiveness is the acceptance of a relationship which existed before the sin. Unless the rebellious brother desires this relationship it is impossible to establish it. We must ever be ready to forgive and we must entertain no malice or bitterness in our hearts. But, we can forgive only when penitence is shown. Those who question this conclusion (and there are always those who thus do, not knowing the true significance of forgiveness), remember that the Lord's order is (1) if a brother sins against you, rebuke him; (2) if a brother repents, forgive him (Luke 17:3).

 One of the most comforting thoughts in Scripture is the idea of living in the shadow of the wings of Almighty God. The image of a mother bird with wings outstretched to shield her chicks from danger and the elements is one with which most are familiar. The story is told of park rangers in Yellowstone surveying the charred landscape after lightning had ignited a rather large-scale forest fire. While walking through the ravaged remains of the once lush forest, a park ranger heard the sound of young birds chirping at the base of a tree. He followed the sound to find a mother bird facing the base of a large tree with wings outstretched, singed to death by the heat of the blaze. As the park ranger moved the deceased bird, he found a number of chicks that had survived the fire because of the sacrifice of the mother. Jesus drew upon this imagery as he looked out over the city of Jerusalem: “O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, thou that killest the prophets, and stonest them which are sent unto thee, how often would I have gathered thy children together, even as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, and ye would not!” (Matt.22:37). God extends to all men the opportunity to dwell in the shadow of His wings. Just what do we find therein? In the shadow of God’s wings, we find AFFECTION. The psalmist wrote, “Keep me as the apple of the eye, hide me under the shadow of thy wings” (Psa.17:8). David’s prayer was that God might always set His affections upon His faithful children. Jehovah set His affection upon the sons of Jacob (Deut.32:10) so that through the blessed seed-line the Christ might come into the world to bless all men. Even when Israel and Judah rebelled against the goodness and mercy of the Almighty, He still looked upon them as the apple of His eye (Zech.2:8). Job asked, “What is man, that thou shouldest magnify him? And that thou shouldest set thine heart upon him?” (Job 7:17). While we are not deserving of God’s loving-favor, we are nonetheless grateful for it! The eyes of the Lord are over the righteous (1 Pet. 3:12). Since He is faithful to keep us in His affection, shouldn’t we set our hearts upon Him? “Keep my commandments, and live; and my law as the apple of thine eye” (Prov. 7:2). In the shadow of God’s wings, we find PROTECTION. During a time of great duress and calamity, the psalmist poured out his soul: “Be merciful unto me, O God, be merciful unto me: for my soul trusteth in thee: yea, in the shadow of thy wings will I make my refuge, until these calamities be overpast” (Psa. 57:1). In another place he would pen these words: “He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler” (Psa. 91:4). We serve a God who will protect His children! He is our refuge and strength (Psa. 46:1). We can turn to Him in the storms of life, knowing that He will safely carry us through. We sometimes sing, “Dear Lord, whate’re the storm may be, I’ll simply trust in thee.” Children of God have the assurance that He will be with us, even in the difficulties of life. There is comfort in knowing that the wings of Jehovah are outstretched over the lives of His children. In the shadow of God’s wings, we find time for REFLECTION. As the psalmist had opportunity to meditate upon God and His word, he declared, “My mouth shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness; and my mouth shall praise thee with joyful lips: when I remember thee upon my bed, and meditate on thee in the night watches. Because thou hast been my help, therefore in the shadow of thy wings will I rejoice” (Psa. 67:5-7). When we stop to consider all that God has done for us, how can we not be overwhelmed? Knowing that He loves me, provides for me, and protects me thrills my soul and fills me with gladness and gratitude. God is good to His people, and living in the shadow of His wings gives us time to pause and consider that goodness.