Yes, you can count on me to be your “friend.” Let me give you some

“fatherly” advice. Dear Young Person:

Do you at times feel neglected, that no one is interested in you?

Please do not ever feel that way again. I am keenly interested in you,

for I realize that you are most impressionable in your youth. I cannot

reach many of your “old fogy,” “know it all,” “set in their ways”

parents. Consequently, perhaps most of my most valuable time,

attractive “tactics,” and smooth conversion “techniques” are spent

One, do not spend much time in studying the Bible. I want to help

you make vital decisions, those which will affect you for a lifetime,

even for eternity. However, those who meditate upon the Word of

God find themselves not desiring to listen to me. Do not feel that you

need to quote scriptures, like Christ when He was tempted.

Two, please do not really think that you need to attend every worship

service. Just look at the examples of many so-called Christians who

are grown; when you grow up, you will be able to forsake the

assembly also. You see, you too will learn that other things are more

important.

Three, it is vital to remember that you are young only once. My,

everybody has the “right” to sow his wild oats, does he not? Have you

not observed that religion is really for old folks? Besides, do you wish

to give the impression to your friends that you are a coward, that you are

not the master of your own life, that you cannot think for yourself?

Four, expect the church to entertain you. Do you not have every right to

expect the same excitement within and without the worship of the church

that you receive from television, the movies, at the ball park, etc.? If they do

not have a comedian in the pulpit and a ministry of recreation, be loud in

your complaints.

If this fails, show your disapproval by staying home or by seeking out a

church which is “really interested” in young people. Remember, “ask not

what you can do for the Lord, but rather what He and the church can do for

you”! Five, demand a Bible that reads like a comic book. No one should

expect you young people to study hard to understand God’s will for your

lives. It is just so frustrating not to have a “Bible” that you can understand.

Certainly, that old archaic King James Version and even the American

Standard Version are just beyond your ability to grasp.

Six, do not let anyone tell you how to live your life. Anyway, how can one

really “know the truth” from a Bible so full of contradictions? Oh, have

you been told you can trust the Bible? Do not believe it! Your guess as

to what the Bible teaches is as good as that of anyone else. Besides, have

you not heard? It is the age of “do your own thing.” Have you not

learned by now that certain things are “wrong” only in certain situations?

What was “wrong” when your parents came along (dancing, drinking,

smoking, immodest dress, gambling, sex outside of marriage, drugs, etc.)

is not wrong now. They warn you of these “forbidden pleasures” only

because they do not want you to have a good time.

If any of your friends need to feel “loved,” pass my letter on to them.

However, if your parents, the elders, or the preacher see it, they may not be

impressed. I am interested in having you spend eternity with me, also.

Your friend (?),

Satan